Text Messages to Kyrie Irving

I wanted to get to the real scoop on the Lebron to Cleveland story so I hit up my boy Kyrie

Mykhal: Yo Kyrie!

*Music Playing Trophies- Drake*

Kyrie: Who is this? How you get my number? Nevermind doesn’t even matter. I’m So exicted!!!

M: Bruh, how your texts have a ring back tone?

K: your phone can do magical things when LeBron is on your team!

M: Kinda like how Bosh’s used to spray Champagne when he got a voicemail?

K: Yup, and Delonte West’s used to play “Stepdaddy” whenever LeBron texted him

M: nah, I think he did that on purpose… just tryna give King a heads up

K: yeah… Well I know what NOT to do as Lebrons teammate

M: What’s that Hit his mom?

K nah, wear white boy cornrows… But that too

M: What are you doing today bro?

K: me and Deion going to get our hands fitted for championship rings

M: Waiters? I thought yall weren’t cool!

K:  nah, all that was exaggerated. He drank the last bit of Kool-Aid and put the pitcher back in the fridge! You know KYRIE DON’T PLAY THAT!

M: Man, that’s foul, I would have had beef with him too!

K: yeah, man…  We hashed it out tho over a few games of Call of Duty in Rich Paul’s office, you know that dude is the Governor now?

M yeah I heard. That dude is the man, Holdup Kyrie I’m getting a text from my dude D-Wade.

_____________________________________________________

M:  Whats up Flash?

Wade: *Song plays* “Someone please call 911 – Wyclef

M: how do all yall dudes have Ring back tones on your text? Smh

W: your phone does magical things when Bron-Bron is on your team. Like how Bosh’s  gave him a Raptor quote to live by every morning *whispers Rawrr*… *Sobs mightily*

M: It’s ok Wade, Its going to be ok

W: No its not! I can feel my power fadinggggggg oh what a world!

M: well, for the record, I’m pretty sure your powers have been fading for years now Wade…

W: Blank Stare

M: just saying… Well you can go back home to Chi-town and have your own “Big Three” with Rose’s Knee’s and Noah Hair

W: with all that deep dish pizza and Garrett’s popcorn? Nahh too much temptation for Gabby, I cant have my woman getting fat.

M: True

W: I knock it out her hand if it aint Celery.

M: Damn Wade, that’s cold… Imma hit you back though. I was talking to Kyrie

W: Kyrie!? That life stealing *Expletive deleted*mannn if I see that *Expletive deleted* I will *Expletive deleted* I wnt some *Expletive deleted* evennnn if jesus *Expletive deleted* on the next episode of Mad Men *Expletive deleted* teletubbies *Expletive deleted* *Expletive deleted* *Expletive deleted* Kermit the frog be like *Expletive deleted*

_____________________________________________________

M: Yo Kyrie, I don’t think Wade want to be your friend…

Kyrie: He just on edge cause his girl getting big..

*Sound of Shots being fired!!!!!*

Let the rivalry begin.

 

WadeRie

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