56-Lovie: Falcons Dole out Primetime Spanking

On Thursday night the anticipation built to a boil  as people began standing in line in anticipation of the latest gadgets from Apple, the iPhone 6 and 6+. Many people camped out ready for a wait time of 10+ hours. Me, personally, I find that to be crazy. The idea that I would stand outside waiting to spend money on a phone (or sneakers) is one of those things that makes you question where our values lie as a society. The newest iPhones and the IOS 8.0 are supposed to be a bigger leap in terms of technology and functionality than any of the transitions to previous newer models; this is what makes the people want need to have it. This is also yet another example of the genius marketing by Apple. I honestly believe there would be a line around the corner for devices such as the iToaster, iMilk Carton, or iDiapers; they just have to slap that little half bitten apple on there and voila!

Oh yeah, there was a football game last night...
Oh yeah, there was a football game last night…

As leery as I am of technology I do suppose there are worst ways to spend a Thursday evening, like how the Tampa Bay Bucs did while in Atlanta. Nope, there were no strip clubs (though there may have been a trail of broken hearts, empty tears and crushed dreams), and there certainly wasn’t any joyous celebration. Nope, just a good old fashioned ass whippin’ at the hands of Matt–Don’t call me Matthew-Ryan and the Falcons team we have all be waiting to see.

The final score was 56-14 and even that lopsided total doesn’t do justice to the soul crushing performance that was witnessed by all those in attendance. In the understatement to end all understatements, Bucs headman Lovie Smith was quoted saying

“I thought I had my football team ready to play, obviously, we weren’t ready to play.”

The score was 35-0 at halftime and 56-0 heading into the final quarter, the Buccaneers only scores came late in the fourth when the game and the fans were long gone.

The highlights of the night were; Devin Hester passing Atlanta legend Deion Sanders on the All-Time list for return touchdowns, Matt Ryan throwing as many touchdowns as INCOMPLETIONS, and the Falcons pass rush finally showing up and registering their first sacks of the season.

The Hester return was a really special moment as he took a 62-yard punt return bobbing and weaving straight to the house. This was a treat to any recently un-blind person who hadn’t discovered Usain Bolt on YouTube yet, but always wanted to know what fast looks like. Hester only cooled his jets once the coast was clear and he-in true Neon Deion fashion-high stepped his way into the endzone, the record books and our hearts.

Three games is a small sample size and we will know more about the team after the next game and we are able to do our quarter year review, but I think it’s safe to go ahead and rip up whatever that was last Sunday  and move on. In two of the three weeks, the Falcons have played like kings. Lets see if they can keep it up. Next serve the Minnesota Vikings, who will presumably be without AP. Interesting.

Game ball goes to Julio Jones who had 9 catches 161 yards two touchdowns and 1 reDONKulous over-the–shoulder catch.

–   Glass

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